Do Not Cry
by FireToTheRain06
Summary: After Ziva dies, Tony finds a letter from her. Re-post!
1. Chapter 1

**Do Not Cry**

**Summary: After Ziva dies, Tony finds a letter/poem from her.**

**A/N: One shot maybe a two shot. Sad and angsty-you've been warned. Ziva is one of my favorites, but yes, she does die to make the story fit. I tweaked this just a bit but I want to thank those who reviewed and added this story as a favorite.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except seasons 1-8 of NCIS. Another re-post and yes to any anonymous reviewers it is my story, so yes I can re-post them.**

**Grammar/spelling: I had to laugh at this one. I was doing a check and it wanted to change David-DiNozzo to David-Dinosaur. LOL! **

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**Five months ago: **

"_Cancer, how on earth did I get cancer?" Ziva stuttered with her words before getting them out._

"_I am sorry Officer David, sometimes even with no family history these things happen."_

"_Am I going to die?"_

_The doctor looked at her and nodded, "I am sorry, but yes, your cancer is stage IV and with the type you have it will likely attack your other organs quickly."_

"_How…how long do I have?"_

"_About 3-6 months, I am so sorry, I wish I could do something more."_

_Ziva sat there trying to take everything in. She had told Tony to pick her up and now when he did she would have to tell her fiance that their wedding would never happen._

"_Than—thank you doctor."_

_Ziva grabbed her fleece and left the exam room._

_Tony arrived a few minutes later and smiled big as he saw Ziva._

"_Hi beautiful, how did your appointment go?"_

_Ziva looked at him, unable to hold back tears any longer she burst into a heavy sob._

"_Zi, what's wrong sweetie?"Tony asked as he took her into his arms._

"_Can we just go home?"_

"_Of course, anything you want."_

_Tony was extremely concerned by this point and wondered what could be going on._

_They arrived home and Tony helped Ziva inside. Ziva sat down on the couch and stared blankly into space._

_Tony sat next to her and took her hand and looked down at her ring. "I love you Ziva, whatever it is we'll get through it."_

_Ziva was shaking uncontrollably. "I…Tony…I love you so much."_

"_What's going on Zi? You're really starting to scare me."_

"_I have cancer Tony."_

_Tony choked back tears that were threatening to fall. "What?"_

"_I have stage IV cervical cancer, chemo—radiation wouldn't help me, not at the stage I'm at."_

"_No! NO! I won't let you die." Tony said crying as he held her close to him._

"_I don't want to go either Tony, I wanted to get married, have children and die of old age while making love to you, but that isn't going to happen. I have 3-6 months left."_

"_Marry me now Zi."_

_Ziva looked at him. "No Tony, you will find someone else and fall in love and have kids."_

"_I don't want anyone else, I want you! Marry me, now!"_

_Ziva nodded. "Ok." She whispered. "I will marry you."_

_Tony and Ziva were married in a simple ceremony with Abby, Tim and Gibbs present as their witnesses. Abby wasn't handling Ziva's impending death very well and Gibbs and Tim were distraught as well._

_Gibbs had allowed Tony to take as much time as he needed away from NCIS to be with Ziva. Ziva had already lost a lot of weight and she rarely had an appetite. She had better days where she had energy and when those days came she wanted to be with Tony every second. She hated the thought of leaving him, she felt guilty because she loved him so much and didn't want him to be alone._

"_Promise me something Tony?"_

"_Sure, anything for you."_

"_That you will move on after I am gone."_

_Tony shook his head, tears falling. "I don't want to move on without you."_

"_I know Tony, but it would be unhealthy not to. You know I love you and I will love you forever, beyond death, but I don't want you mourning me until your death."_

"_I don't want to love anyone else Ziva DiNozzo, I love you too damn much to do that."_

_Ziva sighed. "Promise me you will at least try, that you will let Abby, Tim, Gibbs and Ducky help you if you need it?"_

_Tony nodded his head. "Ok, I promise you Zi." He replied holding her as he sobbed._

"_Thank you Tony." Ziva said quietly._

**Current Day:**

Tony came into the living room to see Ziva lying on the couch watching some T.V.

"Dance with me Zi?"

Ziva smiled at Tony, he knew she didn't have the energy to stand very long so he scooped her up in his arms and put on some soft music as they danced.

"I am sorry I never gave you what you wanted Tony."

"You gave me everything Zi. You are my best friend, my lover and my soul mate."

"I am going to miss you so much."

"And I will miss you beautiful."

"I love you." Ziva said as she took all her energy and brought her husband's lips to hers for one last kiss. "Tell, the others I love them and tell Abby she was my best friend and…"

"I love you Ziva. I'll tell them, I promise." Tony replied, his tears mixing with hers as he kissed her.

Ziva slowly and peacefully slipped away in Tony's arms. He sat on the couch and just held her. Gibbs and everyone else arrived a short time later. They had given Tony a code to use when it was time.

Gibbs put his hand on Tony's shoulder gently. "I am so sorry Tony."

Abby sat next to Tony and hugged him for what seemed like forever. "I'm going to miss her Tony, I never told her…

"She knew Abbs, she wanted you to know you were her best friend and that she loved you very much."

Abby kissed his head gently. "I'm here if you need me ok?"

Tony nodded as he saw Tim standing in front of him. "Tony, I- uh I am so sorry. I'm sure you're sick of hearing the same thing over and over again but…"

"It's alright Probie."

Tim hugged his friend.

"Anthony, it's time." Ducky said as he saw them wheel Ziva out.

He nodded again. "Thank you Ducky, for taking care of her."

Ducky smiled sadly. "You are welcome my dear boy."

**A few days later:**

The funeral was very nice. Abby played her dirge like she had at Kate's funeral. Everyone had said something about her and it was all very kind. Tony had tried to speak but he couldn't. Abby came up by him and held his hands as he spoke.

"Ziva wasn't just a co-worker she was my best friend, my soul mate and my first true love. I never was in love until I met her. She loved everyone on our team. She was full of life and wanted to have a family and I couldn't wait to start one with her, but that will never happen. I am glad she is no longer in pain and I will never stop missing her. I love you Ziva David-DiNozzo."

After Tony had gone home he was looking through some things and found a letter. It read:

_Dear Tony,_

_If you are reading this I am no longer here. I hope you know how much I love you and always will. I am so glad I married you, that it was the happiest day of my life knowing how happy I made you. Below is a little poem for you._

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,

I am the star shine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there. I do not die.

_I love you Anthony DiNozzo, I will see you again, but until then remember I am always watching over you._

_Love always and forever,_

_Ziva DiNozzo_

_p.s. look inside the envelope_

Inside was Ziva's Star of David which she had left for him. He took it in his hand and squeezed it gently. "Thank you Zi. I'll wear it proudly and think of you always." He whispered into the air.

**A/N: Poem belongs to Mary Elizabeth Frye. Sorry if it was OOC-it was just something that came to me. I cried myself. Please review-I love when people add me as a favorite story etc. but knowing what you liked about it is nice too! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

**Summary: Tony visits Ziva to share some news with.**

**A/N: Just a little follow-up that I felt like writing. **

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Tony walked across the wet grass to a tombstone with a small 'Star of David' on it. While, she should have been buried in a Jewish cemetery, she had put in her _will_ that she wanted to be buried at a small cemetery that wasn't necessarily Jewish. Being Jewish was no doubt important to her, but it meant that Tony couldn't be next to her if he chose to be.

"Hi beautiful, I miss you. I came to share some news with you and introduce you to someone."

A small bundle cooed in his arms, wrapped in a pink blanket.

"I would like you to meet Ziva Sarah McGee, she is 2 weeks old. McGee and Abby got married two months after you passed, but I already shared that with you and then I came to tell you that they were expecting, but what they didn't tell me was that they had a name picked out the moment they found out they were having a girl." Tony wiped a tear away.

Abby and McGee stood from afar and watched. "I miss her Tim."

"Me too Abby, but now we have her with us again in a sense."

Tony smiled down at Ziva who was looking at him with her big green eyes. "You'd love her Ziva and I know she would have loved you. Oh, I almost forgot she was born on your birthday. I was made godfather and Jenny is godmother, but Abby and Tim insisted that you be named honorary godmother."

Abby and McGee walked closer. "Hi Ziva, I uh- - geez I never stutter and here I am stuttering with what to say. I miss you Ziva, I really do and I am sorry I never told you how much you meant to me."

Tony took Abby's hand in his. "She knows Abs and she says thank you and that she loves you all very much."

McGee couldn't help but let a tear fall. "Thank you for giving us a baby girl Ziva, we honestly believe you had something to do with it. She is beautiful and strong just like you were."

"Ziva, I gave little Ziva your 'Star of David' necklace because I thought she should have something that belonged to the beautiful woman from which she got her name. I thought you would be ok with that and I hope that you are because I can't imagine giving it to anyone else. I love you, you are my one and only."

Abby stood next to McGee holding his hand tightly. Tony held onto '_little Z'_ as he affectionately called her and rocked her gently in his arms. "This is your Auntie Ziva or '_big Z' _as you'll come to know her. She would have loved you to death and you would have loved her, but instead you'll just have to hear stories about her and how we came to be a couple." Tony said smiling down at little Z who had fallen asleep.

Tony sighed. "Well, we have to get going Zi, but I promise I'll be back in a couple of days to plant some flowers for you. Gibbs and Ducky say hi, they still have good days and bad as well but I know like me they'll be ok. See you later."

Tony turned around and walked toward Abby and McGee. He gently placed little Z in her car seat and walked back towards the car. He looked back at Abby and McGee and smiled. "C'mon guys, let's go have a drink to celebrate life in honor of Ziva huh?"

McGee smiled. "Sounds like a good idea DiNozzo." He said as he carried his daughter's car seat in his one hand and Abby's with the other.

Tony realized at that moment that his co-workers weren't just co-workers they were his best friends, even Gibbs and Ducky. They had all been supportive to him over that last 11 months and he would be forever grateful for that.

**A/N: Ok, that's the end-I just felt like adding a short addition.**


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